Welcome to ParentingAdultChildren.ca!
Thanks for visiting my site, I am looking forward to writing and engaging with you on matters related to parenting adult children.
I love my adult kids and I care about how I parent them. My eldest first left home over 15 years ago, and I’m still learning how to be the best parent I can be.
A lifelong journey with no roadmap, parenting adult children isn’t always easy.
My relationship with my mother as an adult
While my own mother was an excellent parent while I was young, I didn’t have the kind of relationship with her as an adult that I want to have with my own children. Although I loved her, she and I were unable to have a close bond. While she was generous with her practical help—babysitting, making curtains and bedspreads, and sewing beautiful clothes for the children, I did not have a mother I wanted to confide in during times of difficulty.
Instead, I turned to close friends and my sister. I was and am lucky to have them. But, it would have been wonderful and certainly comforting to have the voice of experience and the perspective of an older woman, particularly one that I loved. That’s what I want to offer my kids.
How I learned to parent
When we become parents, we either consciously or unconsciously decide to use our own parents as role models or strike out on a path of our own. I consciously decided to incorporate many of my parents’ techniques into my own when my children were young.
I also read articles and books, joined parent support groups, attended workshops for parents, talked to my friends and went for professional counselling when I had a problem I couldn’t solve on my own.
My husband and I generally hold similar views on raising children, so we were able to support one another in raising our three. I also have a Masters in Social Work which has stood me in good stead in parenting both young and adult children. But I knew that apart from talking with friends and my husband, I was on my own when my three children became adults. I didn’t want to follow in my mother’s footsteps apart from her magnificent practical help; and when the first child left home, there were only a very few books on parenting adult children, and no support groups or workshops on the topic.
Since that time, more books have been published on adult children, and blogs and online articles are becoming more common. But there is still a limited amount of American information on the topic and vey little Canadian information; popular, professional or academic.
Everyone needs support
As I have talked over the years with friends about matters from how to handle weddings to how to encourage a child to leave home, I realized that everyone needs a forum where they can discuss matters relating to parenting adult children, since there are so few resources available. I have learned a lot about developing relationships with adult children over the past 15 years. I want to share my learning with you and I hope you will contribute what you have learned as well.
I hope this blog will create an ongoing, supportive space for parents of adult children where we can all learn from one another and help each other create loving relationships with our grown children.
To learn a bit more about me, please click here.