“No matter why your adult child is living in your home, the good news is that you can make it work.”
That’s the optimistic voice of Christina Newberry in her book “The Hands-on Guide to Surviving Your Adult Child Living at Home”.
Her easily understood 115 page guide is chock-a-block full of good advice on strategies on how to live with your boomerang kid. Although she herself is a young adult, she takes the perspective of the parent.
She based her guide on her own experience of moving back home when she was 21 and then again for a few months at 29.
She emphasizes that open communication is the key and parents must communicate their expectations and needs right at the beginning. Along with her book she provides a contract that can be tailored to meet individual circumstances and includes privacy rules and ways in which the adult child is expected to contribute.
Throughout the book she offers advice such as:
- Establishing a timeline leading to a date when the adult child is expected to leave, with achievable goals along the way;
- Limiting the amount of financial help parents provide to ensure the child learns how to manage his or her own money;
- If possible, save part or all of the child’s rent money which they can have when they leave to pay for the first month’s rent on an apartment; and
- What parents can and should not do to help their child find a job.
She deals with challenges parents may face as a result of their child moving back home like:
- Stress in their marriage;
- Dealing with younger children still living at home; and
- Conflict over rules such as curfews and overnight guests.
Christina says parents and their adult children need to know exactly how much it is costing them to have their adult child live at home so, if possible, the child can contribute appropriately to household expenses. A household budget calculator is also provided with the book.
She recognizes that some situations simply do not work and parents must ask their adult child to leave. She has advice on how to stage such a discussion and what to do if the child refuses.
Although Christina is based in Vancouver, her guide is directed more at an American audience as she mainly uses American statistics and refers to American resources. However, this does not detract from the value of the Guide and accessories for other English speaking readers.
The guide, contract and household budget calculator are excellent tools for any parent faced with having their child return home. They will help ensure the experience is at least bearable for everyone and possibly enjoyable too.
Her package of goodies costs $US 27.97: and is sent immediately via the internet.
What’s your experience of having adult children living at home? I would love to hear your comments. Please add them to the Reply Box below.