How kids change your lives: The 8 seasons of parenthood

Who would have guessed it!  Not only do we parents affect our kids, our kids affect us!  “The Eight Seasons of Parenthood”, by authors Barbara C. Unell and Jerry L. Wyckoff, examines how kids affect their parents and help determine their identity.

The eight seasons start with pregnancy, the “Celebrity“, and end with the “Rebounder”, when parents accept parent/child role reversal as they decline and die.  The authors interviewed hundreds of parents for their book.

Of interest to parents of adult children are the last three chapters of the book.

The “Family Remodeler” describes the period when children first leave home and their parents remodel their families and redefine their lives.   Read More

Advertisements

Your demise and death: Letting your kids into the tent

By Guest Blogger Kathryn Elliott

nursing home picAs my son sometimes tells me, “We’re the ones who are going to pick out your nursing home.”

My husband and I had two opposite role models to follow about sharing personal information with adult children.

My father, a bank manager, would come home upset some evenings because he was dealing with the widow of a colleague, who had no idea about her husband’s salary, where the money was, and how she should manage.  This was the 1950’s when being a wife and homemaker was a major role for women.

He was determined that my mother and his children would never be in such a position.  He told my mother that since he managed other people’s money, she could run the household finances.

As my parents aged, and my brother and I grew into responsible adults, they were open with us.  My father regularly showed me his filing system and records and my parents talked openly about their wills.

Read More

Avoiding resentment: Cottage life with adult kids

Michael Carson photo

Michael Carson photo

Whether your cottage is little more than a big tent on a small campground (we owned one of those for years) or a five star all season holiday house, issues with allowing your adult children to use the cottage invariably crop up.

As cottage season comes to a close, I’m reflecting on how we managed this year.

We love having our kids and their spouses and their friends at our cottage, but it’s important that my husband and I don’t end up as servants in our own place. There is nothing worse than cleaning up after your adult kids and it is a complaint I hear often from cottage owners. The sound of resentment is not pretty.

Read More