Vacuuming is valueless and hazardous to your health: A wedding toast


Photo Credit: Blair Gable

The thing I liked most about giving toasts at each of my daughters’ weddings was the opportunity to welcome my new sons-in-law to our family. I figured there was probably no better time to help solidify my relationship with them.

It’s so important to me that they feel welcome and loved for their own sake, not just because they are the spouses of my children. I want them to know that we are there not just for our daughters, not just for them as part of a couple, we are there for them as individuals. We will do everything we can to support their hopes and dreams, just as we will for our daughters and son.

And I also know that they will affect the quality of the relationship I have with my children.  I want my kids to know that I love their chosen ones.

One of the nicest wedding speeches I have heard was given by my daughter’ s new mother-in-law when she welcomed her to their family.  Here it is:

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My daughter’s wedding: What’s a mother of the bride to do?


Red Shoes

Photo Credit: Blair Gable

Red shoes and dogs.

My daughter wanted to wear red shoes with her beautiful cream coloured wedding dress. My future son-in-law wanted their dog to be the ring bearer.

I wanted neither. What’s a mother of the bride to do?

I did my best. Despite spending the better part of an afternoon in shoe stores in Montreal, there were no red open toed high heeled shoes my daughter was looking for. But we did see many lovely cream coloured shoes that I adored. I was beginning to breathe a sigh of relief when we decided to try one last store.   And there they were—exactly what she wanted.

She left that store a happy bride to be. I was… resigned. Although I was pleased with myself; I hadn’t said a negative word about red shoes.

The dog was another matter. I had visions of it jumping on my daughter’s dress, barking through the ceremony, or worse, peeing just as the young couple were saying their vows.

The last thing I wanted to do was alienate my wonderful son-in-law. He loves the dog and sees her as part of the family. I had a brief chat with my daughter but it was clear that the dog was as important to the wedding ceremony as the officiant.

It’s hard to bite your tongue while planning a wedding. Despite the fact that most young adults live together before they get married, the prospect of a wedding looms large in the consciousness of parents. Apart from love, the wedding symbolizes stability and hope and the possibility of grandchildren.

But with that day comes enormous pressure. Everyone wants the day to be perfect and perfection is in the eye of the beholder.

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