Why sometimes it’s better not to help

Despite the fact that I think that the more you allow your adult children to manage their own lives, the better off they are, I occasionally provide help when it is neither needed nor wanted.

I see other parents providing resources in the form of money, skills, and advice and I sometimes feel that unless I do the same thing, I am, in words that haunt me, a bad mother. It’s almost a form of “keeping up with the Jones”, showing the world what a caring mother I am by doing things for my kids, when intellectually, I am sure the best thing I can do is nothing.

Doing nothing is something I have to work at.

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Have you ever felt like a helicopter parent?

Helicopter parents are no doubt the topic du jour amongst those trying to understand current styles of parenting adult children.

Hovering over your children in their late teens and older generally gets a bad rap.

For another take on this, check out “When is it OK to be a Helicopter Parent” over at the Huffington Post:

“You’ve heard the critiques of so-called “helicopter parents” who can’t stay away from their kids, smothering them with so much love and attention that they never develop self-reliance. Narcissistic, dependent, and unable to strike out on their own, your over-loved children expect everyone to wait on them hand and foot. They’ll be doomed to a life of constant whining when they don’t get their way, and will never be able to support themselves financially or emotionally.” READ MORE…

I’ll be writing more on this topic later.

Have you ever felt like a helicopter parent? Please don’t hesitate to leave a comment below.

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Wonder if you’re too involved? Why today’s parents are more involved with their adult children

Do you ever feel like you’re much more involved with your adult children than your parents are or were with you? You’re not the only one!

It’s common knowledge that today’s parents are far more involved with their adult children than parents were a generation ago. That’s because the environment for parenting adult children has changed significantly over the last 30 years and with this new environment, current parents of adult children find themselves doing and saying things that their own parents would never have done.

We find ourselves involved and if we are not, we are wondering why. The idea of a close relationship appeals to many of us, and we find ourselves butting in when perhaps we should be butting out.

So let’s dive a little deeper and explore the many factors that have created this new environment for parenting.

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